Biting is sometimes a problem for Toddlers and Preschoolers and can be worrying to a parent. Around this age children learn to manage their growing independence and sometimes their ability to handle situations is stretched. There are positive ways to help children cope with their anger, jealousy or stress in their lives, as well as, helping the child who has been bitten.

Why do children bite?

Biting can be a sign of stress, anger, frustration, jealousy, a means of getting attention or simply a cry for ‘Help!- this is too much for me!’ They might be frustrated by an inability to be independent or perform a task. A child might be responding to family problems or be just plain and tired. Be aware that major changes in the child’s life such as moving to a new house or parent separation can provoke stress-related behaviors. Children who bite often do not have the ability to express themselves with words or are in the throws of a confrontation and resort to an impulse. The mouth and teeth are the quickest and easiest weapon to show frustration and anger. Biting does not mean the child is hungry and needs food. A child knows the difference between an angry bite and the taste of food.

What to do...how to stop biting?

4 to 9 Months

Reason for Biting: Teething pain. Biting helps ease pain and baby’s discomfort.

Coping Strategies: This usually occurs while nursing or cuddling, the best response is your natural instinct. Your shriek and immediate removal of your nipple or other body part from the baby’s mouth sends a clear message.  Offer a teething ring.

9-12 Months

Reason for Biting:Over excitement. Children this age Bite when excited, not to hurt others.

Coping Strategies: An immediate and firm ‘No" is best. With consistency, you should see positive results. Offer/model gentle touches.

12 Months to 3 Years

Reason for Biting: Anger or frustration. This age the child yearns for independence, but has limited language and fine motor skills.

Coping Strategies: Say "Stop, no biting - your teeth are for food!" For children over 18 months stop the activity or give a brief time-out.  Offer words to solve problems.

3 Years and Up

Reason for Biting: Feeling overwhelmed or physically threatened. Biting is rare at this age, mainly used as a defense mechanism.

Coping Strategies: In an isolated incident see advice above. If biting is a regular occurrence with other aggressive behaviors, separate child from others engaged in ‘fun’ activities.

Further Help…

What to do to prevent biting

• Watch children for signs of stress.
• Have calm times in your daily routines.
• Teach children how to interact and talk to others.
• Observe and support your children when they play with others.

What to do if a child bites someone

• Say ‘No biting…your teeth are for food’ firmly and move the child away from the child who was bitten.
• Give your attention to the bitten child (with the biter watching), talk about the pain-how it feels to be hurt/bitten.
• Show how to comfort the hurt child.
• When the child feels better, bring the ‘biter’ back, and help them to use their words.
• Offer words like – "You were angry. You bit her-you hurt her. Biting is not OK. What can you do to make her feel better? (or ask the victim/child) What can_____ do to make you feel better now?"
• Allow the child to make amends if the victim/child will accept it.
• Encourage the child to think of other ways or words to use to solve the problems.
• Reinforce that people do not bite people - that our teeth are for eating food.